My Thoughts on Violence Against Women
This essay was written in April, 2025 - the month of the horrific Bondi Junction stabbing attack. At the time, I was working as a resident in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) and had a lot of thoughts about violence and the value of women in our culture. I did not have the courage to publish my writing at the time.
The statistics cited in this piece may now be outdated, but the premise, and my thoughts, remain the same.
From the age of 18, I have had an affinity for travelling to developing countries. I love the authenticity of culture that is breathed into everyday life of places that remain largely untouched by the influence of the west. Selfishly, I also love the buzz of gratitude that I experience upon each return to Australia; the continuously renewed appreciation for the luck that allows me to enjoy the life that I do.
A few years ago, on a trip to Nepal, I met a woman three years my junior. She had fallen pregnant as a girl at the age of just 13 to a “husband” who soon left her for his other wife. She was grateful to be skilled in speaking English, as it allowed her to manage a small hostel in Pokora, and therefore, have a means of providing food and shelter (albeit, a small dormitory room) for her and her two children.
On a recent motorcycle trip through the mountains of Ha Xiang in Northern Vietnam, I witnessed multiple women old enough to be my grandmother ploughing the side of mountains from sunrise to sunset, harvesting crops to trade at the local market as a means to feed their families, weathering monsoons and harsh suns while their husbands, sons and brothers relaxed inside.
I understand full-well that the political, social and economic rights of women in these circumstances pale in comparison to the privilege that many women - myself included - have in Australia. For this reason, I have been hesitant to call myself a feminist. What’s more, as an avid consumer of the news, I have observed what being labelled as a feminist means for women in this country; more often than not, feminism is synonymous with words like obnoxious… outspoken… opinionated. There are words that I do not believe accurately reflect who I am as a person. However, one thing that I do believe myself to be is just. Thus, I will speak up about my opinion regarding the enormous injustice that all women in Australia are currently victims of.
As of the end of April 2025, 25 women have died at the hands of male aggression in Australia. This includes the five women who were murdered in the horrific Bondi Junction stabbing attack - Yixuan Cheng, Pikria Darchia, Jade Young, Dawn Singleton and Ashlee Good. I just so happened to be working in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) of one of the hospitals that received victims from this incident. Whilst it is not my professional or personal place to disclose the details of injuries of those wounded, the horrific brutality inflicted upon these women haunted me for weeks. I could not - and still cannot - believe a single person could exert so much hatred towards another human.
Unfortunately, not all victims have the chance to even make it to hospital for a chance to be saved. Take 23-year-old Hannah McGuire and 28-year-old Molly Ticehurst, both murdered in their homes by men who were on bail for previous acts of violence. Or the case of Samantha Murphy, the 52-year-old Mum of three, still missing, but known dead, killed by a man who does not have the decency to disclose the location of her body.
Time after time, fingers have been pointed at women - the victims - for somehow facilitating their own deaths, be it through provocation, temptation or poor location. However, the passing of every woman that has died at the hands of violent men this year has reinforced the truth that women are not safe, regardless of what they do. We are not the problem. Samantha was running in broad daylight. Ashley was shopping with her baby in a public place. Molly had placed an AVO against her ex-partner. To the best of our knowledge, none of these women provoked their killer. None of them were wearing indecent clothing, or had placed themselves in a position of clear danger. They each lost their lives just trying to live, in a sensible, harmless way. The responsibility of their deaths lie solely on the men that killed them.
Violence against women is not a feminist issue; it’s an issue with men. And it is time that men start recognising the role that they have to play in finding a solution. To paraphrase The Pointer Sisters, “now’s the time for all good men to get together with one another… to respect the women of the world, remember, you all had mothers…”
The 25 women who have been the victims of gender-based violence deserve to be more than statistics. They deserve to be more than a few headlines in the media for a week-or-so at a time. Their experiences need to evoke change within this country. If it takes men being gently pointed in direction of reform, then so be it. On the night of the Bondi attacks, every woman in Australia knew within her soul that she was just as likely to have been a victim of that attack as the next woman. We feel in our souls the wave of violence raging against us. We are crying out for change.
Men, please work with us.
